Every client deserves a plan specifically catered to them. I am constantly assessing progress and making changes as needed to progress you towards the resolution of your distress. However research shows that the most effective tool in counseling is maintain a positive relationship with your clients. Therefore I use a variety of techniques, but my practice is mainly client-centered, and attachment focused, based in the growing field of relational psychology.
ATTACHMENT FOCUS
Human beings are pack creates, and we learn best through relationships. Challenges and guidance are best received through a relationship with truly positive rapport. Without a feeling of safety it’s very difficult to grow, share, and open up to deeper aspects of ourselves. Our learning occurs through modeling, dialogue, questioning, feedback, and reflection. If as a client you aren’t feeling comfortable, safe, and free to be yourself with me, it’s going to be difficult to really get to the bottom of whatever problem you are struggling with. Therefore my aim is to foster a very consistent, positive, authentic, and caring therapeutic relationship with you.
The degree to which you feel safe in the therapy office will correlate to how much you want to explore new ideas and challenge yourself. Returning to the secure base that we form in relationship makes all the difference here. I try to cultivate a real sense of truly having your back.
DEPTH PSYCHOLOGY
Depth psychology is the art and science of understanding our unconscious mental processes and motivations, including shadow. Like in the famous “iceburg” diagram, our conscious mind is only a small part of the entire human psyche. By embracing consciousness as a whole, we uncover reasons why we think, feel, choose, love, and work the way we do. Often we value something different than what our routines and behavior otherwise suggest. Discovering our unconscious motives is implicitly healing and corrective. We awaken more out of our unconscious sleep, and see the machine that has been running the actions of life. With new awareness comes new ability to make choices, we align with our highest values.
SLOW DOWN
The minutia of our psychology cannot be fully integrated in to our awareness at “normal speed”. It needs to be broken down mindfully frame by frame. Slowly experienced and witnessed to expose it’s true nature. Even if we possess unusual levels of intelligence, our reactivity will get the better of us, we’ll fragment in to blame, speaking in the second person, sarcasm, passive aggression, and truth claims (this is the way it is).
DISCERN BETWEEN HISTORIC PROGRAMMING, AND TRUE SELF
Ego psychology, transpersonal frame. What has been conditioned, and what is underneath? Our childhood is full of many moments of taking on other people’s values and perspectives. Sometimes we think something is important to us when in fact it’s important to someone we care about. Our childhood is also full of internalized messages that are far from healthy and well integrated.
To keep connection throughout our life we adapted to the status quo. We agreed to certain ways of being that do not fulfill us. Discerning between our programming and our true self can take place by identifying our values, sitting deeply with our patterns, and aligning our choices and behavior with our deepest wishes and intentions.